Tuesday, February 19, 2013

What To Serve With Your Armadillo

When I first decided to do this blog thing, I said I would never do recipes.  Yeah, like I haven't learned that never-say-never lesson about a brazillion times.  But this one is different, so it doesn't count.  I promise you have never seen a recipe like this one.  Well, unless you were hanging out with a certain crowd in West Texas in the mid 1980's, that is.  And when was the last time you saw a recipe accompanied by a photo of Clint Eastwood holding an armadillo?  Uh huh.  That's what I thought.

So, coming straight at you from my I Can't Believe I Saved That file:

Texas B&B Breakfast (Biscuits & Beer) served with Armadillo


1 cup of flour
A dab of salt
A pinch of baking powder
About that much shortening
1 National Texas Beer (32 oz. bottle of Lone Star)
1 Armadillo

Take your flour, your salt, and your baking powder and mix it up real good in a bowl.  Add the shortening in slowly along with about 3 oz. of beer.  When the dough starts to roll up in a ball and is just barely sticking to the bowl, you're about ready to cook.  Roll up some biscuits, put them on a pan greased with hog fat, and toss them in the oven, already hot, around 350 degrees.

Now, just sit down with that other 29 oz. and your pet armadillo (they love Lone Star Beer) and set your clock for about 15 minutes, and be ready to pull them puppies out.  When eating your biscuits don't hesitate to dunk one in your Lone Star for added flavor.

Disclaimer:  I have never actually cuddled with an armadillo.  Come to think of it, I've never even seen a live one.  I can, however, attest to the fact that beer does something pretty darned special to ordinary biscuit dough.

Disclaimer to the disclaimer:  Sources tell me that amadillos can sometimes carry leprosy.  So, if you get leprosy and your nose falls off, don't say you weren't warned.  Besides, I have nothing worth suing me for anyway.

Shameless plug:  Just in case you're in the mood for some more conventional recipes and cookbooks, I have some of those in my shop.  Sorry, I'm fresh out of Roadkill Cafe Cookbooks, but I do have a couple of vintage, collectible cookbooks you might like. 

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